R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
