why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
