oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize