Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
