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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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