on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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