Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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