I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
