so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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