sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
