She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
