I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
