And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
