Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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