So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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