Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
