oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize