i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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