I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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