Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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