im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
4 words: hood of his car
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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