her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
