Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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