they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
