Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
