I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
