4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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