just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
