He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
