Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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