No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
