Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
