I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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