why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
