she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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