Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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