god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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