Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
