Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize