Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
