I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no you cant smoke seaweed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i came on her dog
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
