true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
