what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
