Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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