Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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