I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
