There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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