I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
