it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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