Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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