whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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