Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
