Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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