Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
too bad you live with your parents still
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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