Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize