My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
