She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
