she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I didn't notice because vodka
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
